I feel kinda bad for leaving this place to rot for nearly six months...

But I was genuinely caught up with school and cca and basically just life. Can't help it. Anyway since it's nearing the end of the third week of June, might as well reflect on my life so far (since I'm supposed to have time... but the truth is, I'm running short of time). I've spent my entire june worrying bout the upcoming CTs and I've never started studying so early in my life. I spent six hours on atomic structure, which is just ONE TOPIC of Chemistry. Usually in six hours I would've covered at least one subject )':

Updates. So many things happened. My life has been rather eventful, I must say ;)

Okay so my grandma had a couple of major ops this year and just that alone can drive me nuts enough. I've never lived without her my entire life; my grandma and I were seriously "相依為命" during the initial years of my life. I never spent a day without her - except weekends of course. After she accepted Jesus she's been growing in the LORD, and despite her ordeal(s), her faith has remained strong and is an encouragement to everyone, including me. It wasn't just once, or twice, but THREE major ops she'd gone through for cancer in less than half a year. It all began last December. Since then, her left breast, womb and duodenum have been removed. Sounds impossible? But by God's grace she's alive and well, maybe a little sallow and yeah she's lost a lot of weight but I'm glad my grandma is still by my side :)

Nearly three weeks after March 13, I found out you'd left me behind. I knew you'd gone to Tokyo for a school trip, but it felt weird cus you weren't online for a couple of weeks and I felt something was amiss. When the news came, I didn't know what to do then, really. I was in a state of shock and I didn't believe what your sister was telling me over Skype. I thought it was a practical joke. And I was void of all emotion for the next week. I was perplexed. I was confused. I was angry. You were so young. You had a bright future ahead of you. A week later the truth seeped in and I battled with emotions of grief and regret. I regretted not talking to you more often, not camwhoring with you more (YEAH WTH), for being a coward and not being honest, for not realising what little time we had left, for not cherishing you and the time we had, and basically just, letting you go.

It's been three months and I can't say I've gotten over it completely, but at least I've learnt to deal with the loss and all those emotions I faced. Somehow for a moment there, life lost meaning to me. I was just waiting for time to pass. But somehow, after Sherm talked to me about it I've decided it was time for closure. I'll definitely miss us, and quarrelling with you on our first meet. And the airport, and everything. How you returned to visit with your hair bleached light brown and I was so epicly shocked. And our pact I guess it can't be fulfilled anymore :)

兩個人 相處時間越多
就會把一切 當作理所當然
之間的關係 不知不覺地
就變成了依賴
已成了 改不掉的習慣

你的笑容 能讓心情突然愉快起來
無論曾受過的痛苦 哀傷
有你在 一切都模糊起來

就是習慣在你身邊
自從你的離開 我不知所措

心裡一片空虛

真希望 時間能倒流
讓我挽回 所失去珍惜你的機會
把我們的故事 從頭做起
好好愛惜 在一起的日子


現在已經 太遲了
只能用一句話 表示懺悔
時光 匆匆流逝
你已落入 無法挽回 的回憶里

Time to move on in life. :) See you someday... in heaven. Though sometimes it feels like you're on this really long vacation and you'd come back someday. Change in blogskin, change the mood. :) Though I loved the previous one you picked.

Alright on to more light hearted and HAPPY THINGS, I LOVE MY CCA AND MY FRIENDS I'VE MADE IN JC! Though JC politics are everywhere and 'complicated' is a whole new level, life's still awesome for me. Cus I've found awesome friends that I can stick with through thick and thin. And I've gotten closer to many old friends that I'll cherish for a long long longggg time... till forever. :D

As they say, make new friends but keep the old ones :D Thanks for being there for me when I was in my darkest point of my life and when I needed someone to lean on :) I'm touched.



Disclaimer: These are just SOME :) Check out the pretty bags!

P.S. I can't wait for HTHT with Gina on Saturday! SO MUCH THINGS OH SO MUCH THINGS HAHAHA

Labels: holidays