Was feverish today so I kinda slept the whole day away but at least my fever's gone! Perspired alot when I woke up heh so I took a bath and now I'm fresh and clean and ALL READY TO GO HARDCORE.

I read Gina's latest post and I agree nearly completely with everything she said. About friends, and basically JC life lah. I never believed people when they said, "The best friends you'll ever make are those from secondary school (or JC), so cherish them." I didn't think that would be true. Until I got to JC, which was kinda late already. It's okay to make friends who would laugh with you, but who knows, when you're going through a rough patch, you can't be sure they'd stay with you through thick and thin, pick up all your distressed phonecalls or reply your smses (and by reply I don't mean hostile one liners) and check on you to see if you're okay. In JC, everyone's just 'busy'. Too busy to make time to forge friendships that would last.

I remember how during JIP some speaker (I think the principal) said that in RGS it was a nurturing community, but in RI, it's just plain competition. Back then, I thought, how could anything be more competitive than RG already? Well I was naive and I thought how we strived for that perfect GPA was competitive enough. But no, that was really 'nurture'. The real 'competitive' never involved people sending notes they'd spent days compiling to their classes for free (I"m inclined to selling Chem mindmaps for $10 each, anyone?). It isn't the case anymore. Not for this class. Well, 40210 has always been special (:

Mugging aside, there's another issue about trust. People aren't as trustworthy, to put it plainly. I guess since we're all older and more mature and developed in our intellect and thought processes, we've morphed into beings of higher complexity. As I can observe, many people do things for their own gain, for a certain goal for themselves. Everything people do, even the nice things, are all driven by selfish ambition. It's kinda like, "I'm being nice to you so I can get what I want," and not "I'm being nice to you because I care for you". How sad, but true.

Hence no one can be trusted completely. What you tell your 'close friend' today, who knows, you could hear it coming out of your enemy's mouth the next. Your closest friend, may become your worst enemy. You never know what's hidden behind all those "Awww, it's okay" +patpat+ and all that. Does anyone find this familiar?

I'm not saying there is a ZERO PER CENT probability of making new friends, I'm just saying, it's really hard and its near impossible to find friends that are as genuine as those back in RG. New friends can be made, but to reach that level of ease and trust, it's really really difficult and it would take effort from both parties to keep this trust fund going. But again, everyone's too 'busy'.

In an institution where everyone's so conscious of their image, status and personal gain, there hardly is any warmth anymore. It's just the fight for survival - yes, what everyone's aiming for, is to survive and rise up above the rest. Is that what life is about? Is this all to friendship, personal gain and satisfaction?

Don't ask why so emo, I just happen to reflect a lot more nowadays. And apologies for the hackneyed way of putting things, kinda tired and incoherent. Vocab's quite limited.



I just think masks are cool but freaky at the same time ;D

Labels: holidays